What the Heart Wants
by Braveandthebold
Summary: Steve and Natasha have a bit of a heart to heart, and Natasha comes to realize something. Because I love their relationship and feel there should be more friendship fics of them. Appearance by Bucky Barnes.


Natasha walked into the main room of the Avengers tower, looked around to make sure no one was there, and sank down against the wall. It had been a very long three days, and honestly all she wanted to do was take a warm bath and sleep. Maybe for a year or two.

She brought her knees up to her chest and leaned her head against them. It's okay. Everything was going to be okay. Clint was in the hospital recuperating. Everything was fine.

"Nat?"

She groaned at the sound of her name and peeked through the space between her elbows. Steve was standing in the entry way with two mugs in his hands.

"What do you want Steve?"

She saw him shuffle his feet and look around helplessly.

"Uh well I was gonna put on the kettle?"

She stared.

"Do you.. do you want some tea maybe?"

She sighed and brought her head up to lean against the wall. "Sure. Tea would be nice."

Steve nodded and padded over to the stove. She watched as he filled the kettle with water and set it on the burner. "Is earl grey okay?" He turned around and held up a tea bag. Natasha hummed in response.

They stayed like that for a while until Natasha blurted out, "Clint got hurt today."

Steve's back stilled, but he didn't say anything.

"It was my fault," she continued. "I was supposed to watch him. Be his eyes and ears. But I got snuck up on. Before I knew it Clint was already unconscious and lying in his own pool of blood. I don't know what happened. I took my eyes off him for a _second_."

She felt tears pricking at her eyes and rubbed forcefully at them. Steve fully turned around this time and leaned his hip against one of the counters.

"I just… he's my partner, Steve. My _partner_. And I failed. I let him get hurt. It's my fault." She looked up to meet his eyes.

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," he said carefully.

Natasha scoffed. "Please. Like you're one to talk." But when she looked back up Steve wasn't mad at her off-hand comment. His face was completely neutral, but she could tell there was a sad glint in his eyes. He pushed himself off the counter and sat on the floor opposite from her.

He nudged his foot against her. When she didn't respond he nudged her again.

She let out an airy laugh. "Sorry."

"It's okay," he responded softly.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this," the red-head said suddenly.

Steve puffed out his cheeks and then blew out.

"I guess you're the closest thing I have to an actual—"

"Friend?" He supplied.

"I was gonna say confidant. But sure friend works too."

They sat in silence.

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to," Steve began slowly, "but you love Clint, right?"

"And you love James right?" She threw right back at him.

The blonde sighed in resignation and ran his fingers through his hair. "Things between Bucky and I are kinda complicated right now."

"Ditto."

"But you didn't answer my question."

"You didn't answer mine."

"Nat."

Natasha groaned and kicked Steve's shin.

"I hate you."

"Hey, it's not my fault you didn't realize it sooner."

"Feelings are complicated, okay? Sorry if I don't walk around singing love songs and dancing to Taylor Swift all day."

"I think I know who that is but you're going to have to refresh my memory on that one."

Natasha snorted. "No one you need to waste your time on, trust me. Just writes a bunch of cliché, teenage love songs."

Steve shrugged and took out a small leather-bound book. "Might as well put it on the list. Maybe Bucky will like her."

"God just go confess already. You're making us all sick with your stupid feelings."

"Then go fess up to Barton. If you do your part maybe I can actually do mine."

The former assassin raised her eyebrow.

"He thinks you're in love with Bucky," Steve said, as if that served as some sort of explanation.

"Meaning..?"

"Well, are you?"

"God, no. I thought we already established that I'm head over heels for Barton."

"No just, good to know. Makes my life a little easier."

Natasha stared at Steve disbelievingly. "Don't tell me you thought the same thing."

He looked away at that. "You two are kind of… close."

"Of course we're close. We got tortured and went through hell together. That doesn't mean I like him."

"Clint doesn't seem to think so," Steve said quietly.

She groaned and banged her head against her knees. "Great. Another thing I have to clear up with that bozo. Great, just great. Fantastic."

"Hey, cut the guy some slack. He did just get hurt after all."

"You're all a bunch of idiots," Natasha muttered, but her eyes crinkled and her mouth quirked up a little.

The kettle started making a whistling noise, but neither one got up to move.

"Shouldn't you get that?" Natasha asked.

"Nah. It can wait," Steve waved off.

Two minutes went by before a "HEY! WHO LEFT THE FUCKING KETTLE ON?!" came stomping into the kitchen.

Tony huffed and took the kettle off. "Okay seriously? That was just irresponsible who—"

He turned to find Steve and Natasha huddled on the floor.

"What?" They both asked as Tony continued to stare at them.

"…Are you two having some kind of secret sleepover and I'm not invited or am I just interrupting something?"

Steve shrugged while Natasha gave him a blank look.

"Right. Leaving now," Tony said, getting the hint. "Enjoy your sleepover and the braiding each other's hair and painting nails stuff."

Not a millisecond later Tony popped his head back in. "Sorry, interrupting again. But Romanoff," he directed his attention to her, "Legolas is awake now. He's probably hyped up on morphine but he should be lucid enough to talk." Then he popped right out again.

Steve heard a sharp intake from the red-head. He nudged her foot. "You should go, he'll be confused when he wakes up. It'd probably be best if you were there."

She still didn't move from her position.

"Natasha?"

"I know I know. Just… just give me a second." She took some deep breaths in order to compose herself, then hopped up and smoothed down her hair and clothes.

"Okay, yeah I'm fine," she said to no in particular. She looked down at Steve and gave a small smile.

What she didn't expect was for Steve to grab her in a forceful hug.

"Uhh Steve?" She stayed rigid for a while, but not before awkwardly patting the supersoldier on the back to signal she was fine now.

"Sorry," Steve said as he released her, "Just wanted to make sure you were, you know, okay and stuff."

Natasha clenched her fists and almost felt the urge to dive in for another hug. Steve must have noticed the look on her face because he raised his eyebrow and smirked a little.

This earned him another kick to the shin. "Shut up," but the former assassin laughed.

"Okay okay," Steve put his hands up in surrender. "Go see Barton now. I'm sure he's looking for you."

And with that Natasha bounced out of the room.

"Steve?" He jumped at the sound of his name, but when he turned around it was just Bucky. He looked small in the dim light, almost like a child.

"Hey, Buck. Sorry I was just getting the tea." Steve smiled apologetically and ruffled his hair a bit.

The soldier leaned into the touch and scrunched up his face, which was his way of saying something was off but he wasn't going to push unless Steve told him.

"Natasha and I were just discussing some things," Steve tried to explain.

"What kind of things?" Bucky closed his eyes as Steve continued to ruffle his hair.

"Just… things." Bucky cracked one eye open but closed it again.

After a while Steve's hand travelled down to his face and rubbed this thumb lightly against his cheek.

"Steve?" This time Bucky did open both his eyes. He tilted his head up and watched the blonde closely.

"Buck, I have something to tell you. But I'm gonna need ya to listen the whole way through, kay?"


End file.
